We are taught to mourn the death of our family, our parents, especially. But, how can you mourn someone who hurts you? For a long time, I sat with the idea that from a societal perspective, we are supposed to feel pain when we lose a parent. I think about the burden of shame from others in our lives when we don’t show up kicking and screaming for one more moment together. CPTSD Coach
Read MoreThink about the power that words hold over us. So often, we find ourselves being guided by what other people have defined as the way we should think or feel about ourselves. How many times has someone pointed out that you don’t meet their specifications
Read MoreAs survivors of abuse as children, we find ourselves putting ourselves second. For many of us, we lack any kind of self-esteem. For others, our narrative is so skewed that we believe that we don’t deserve what we see others have. My experience was a mix of both.
Read MoreSome days life is hard! Some days your husband leaves you, your cat dies, you burn the frozen pizza, your mom calls you, your bike gets stolen, and you drink too much coffee, so during that work meeting, you have to excuse yourself for fifteen minutes
Read MoreBut what do you do other than keep going
I wonder
Oh yes I remember that time I thought to myself I’m a survivor
Read MoreAs I sat on the ferry looking out onto the world around me, I finally got it. Letting go is about acknowledging that something terrible has happened to you, accepting that you can’t change the past, choosing to release the grip that you have around it, and making a decision to move forward on your terms.
Read MoreLet’s admit it. We have all had the thought that self-help is stupid. Often we find that understanding to be complimentary to “Why do I have to do all this damn healing?” At least that was my experience. I have felt both incredibly overwhelmed and underwhelmed by this entire self-help thing
Read MoreWhat does healing the body after trauma mean? In those moments of pain that we experience we nervous system goes haywire; we find ourselves in fight or flight. Our sympathetic nervous system is in control, essentially shutting off all functions that are not mandatory for survival.
Read MoreI don’t know that everyone needs to uproot their lives, pack a rental car, and drive across the country in pursuit of healing, but maybe you do. We are scared of the unknown because we have historical data that supports our hypothesis that if we try something that we need, then we will face ramifications.
Read MoreWe all need a catalyst that is our driver as I have come to find that motivation, inspiration, and discipline have only taken me so far in healing trauma.
Read MoreAs abuse survivors, we have to allow ourselves space to exist. In the calm of the moment, we discover truths about ourselves if we are willing to listen.
Your truth, like mine, may be that what you are seeking is happening right now.
Read MoreIt’s true. I’m not sure if anyone told you yet, but you’re allowed to disconnect from the healing journey for a little bit. We get so caught up in doing all of the things that sometimes we forget that we are allowed to live. To be alive isn’t a series of habits and routines and practices that overtake your life.
Read MoreExpect that new plateaus are going to appear daily as you grow and shift. Be mindful that these plateaus are not stopping point but instead new baselines of measurement for the person you have now become.
Self-sabotage is often a coping mechanism for fear of the unknown power you possess, but you possess the power not to sabotage yourself.
Read MoreThe one thing that childhood trauma survivors have in common is that we survive. We persevere. We overcome. And we do it better than most. We have seen the darkness of humanity, and yet here we are. - A blog from your CPTSD coach
Read MoreOur marching orders have come in: fight or die. But what are you fighting for? Who are we fighting for? Only questions that each of us can answer from deep within ourselves.
Read MoreAs I lay there listening to the howl of the dogs next door and the flickering of the street light that shined into our curtain-less window, I felt both lost and betrayed. The feeling of knowing that what was happening in my life at nine years old was wrong is a hard discovery to make when you should be immersed in the warmth of hugs and love. But the one thing I took with me in that cold of that night was that whatever this was that was my childhood was not right.
Read MoreWe learn not to listen to our gut feeling and avoid following our intuition in childhood. Often, simple curiosity can lead to devastating consequences. We have been molded as trauma survivors to stuff curiosity or interest down so that we cannot reach it to maintain the status quo and ensure our survivability. But does this really serve our best interest?
Read MoreBy being alone, you get the freedom to be vulnerable with yourself. By being alone, you get to see yourself. If you are just starting this journey, this feels impossible but let me tell you this- patience is your best friend in this journey. CLICK TO READ MORE…
Read MoreCreating a self-narrative is about stepping into your truth and what you want, need, and are interested in. This can be a hard concept, especially when you come from trauma because it has been reinforced by circumstances that you are not allowed to have those things.
Read MoreWithout question, the most life-changing and simultaneously difficult thing I've ever done is to remove toxic family members from my life. Every day I get asked how do you remove a toxic family member. In the latest episode of the Michael Unbroken podcast I take a deep dive into my thought process, the question you have to ask yourself, and what it means to really let go.
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