Healing Food Trauma from Child Abuse | CPTSD and Trauma Coach

So many of us struggle with food trauma as a part of our childhood trauma experiences. I certainly have. And I have fluctuated in all the yo-yo diets and all of the pain that comes along with self-suffering in food. I would like to share with you what I have done to change my relationship and life with food.

And know this, the short of it is that the scale will never love you, and every time you step on it for validation you are walking down a dark alley. Trust me, I know.

I think so much of it is about loving yourself. I know that sounds like the same old but when I was 350lbs and morbidly obese I was treating myself to the same punishment my parents did but in a different way. It's not about taking away but instead about giving what you need to yourself. Food isn't a punishment instead it is a healing tool just like therapy or meditation. If you allow yourself the space to know that everything you but in your body is medicine and is for your betterment then over time you will find that your relationship with food will change.

What I did was to slowly take out the bad foods in my life. And when I say bad I am talking fast food over 20 times a week, beer every day, and sugar all the time! And while I took out those foods I slowly started adding in different foods like salads, berries, and other whole foods. It was a lonngggg process and one that I still have to bring attention to. I tried not to punish myself with food but instead I PAUSED AND ASKED MYSELF "WHAT DO I NEED RIGHT NOW?"

Over time I started to be more in my body and feel how certain foods actually made me feel. I put on weight as a defensive mechanism so that I was safe from people who wanted to touch me - a byproduct of sexual abuse, many people experience this. And I continued to put on weight and stuff myself, sometimes to the point of tears, because if I wasn't in pain and chaos I didn't know how to exist.

When I chose peace and love, grace and compassion I discovered that the real cornerstone to healing is that I have to be willing to GIVE MYSELF WHAT MY ABUSERS DIDN'T GIVE ME. That is called self-love and it really does start one step (bite) at a time.

I threw away my scale, I moved my body, I got into my spirituality, and I made a decision to PUT ME FIRST.

If you are struggling with food and weight, know that you aren't alone. And know that you already have the love that you need inside of yourself but you have to be willing to face the fear of discovering it.

Be Unbroken,
Michael