You are allowed to take a break from healing trauma
It’s true. I’m not sure if anyone told you yet, but you’re allowed to disconnect from the healing journey for a little bit. We get so caught up in doing all of the things that sometimes we forget that we are allowed to live. To be alive isn’t a series of habits and routines and practices that overtake your life. To be alive is to find the present moment, indulge in it, and to take a little bit of it with you. This trauma healing game is exhausting; wake, meditate, journal, do yoga, set intention, be mindful, listen to the podcast, go to the gym, don’t drink too much coffee, shower, brush your teeth, and so much more, and that’s all before 7 am. I don’t know about you, but some days I want to chill.
So what do you do when you are healing CPTSD and need a break? You ask yourself this question: Do I need a break today? I always ask myself if today is that day because often I find that I can keep going. However, on some days, like today, I have asked myself that question and decided that the thing that serves me best is to exist without judgment that I’m not going to do all the things. The pressure we place on ourselves to be great is often exponentially more overwhelming. We look at ourselves in need of fixing and measure our healing by missed opportunities instead of new baselines. We say things like I wasted my day, or I should have done this/that. But is that entirely true? The truth is that in healing the impacts of childhood trauma, sometimes the best thing we can do is forget about it for an afternoon.
But what about all the people who say you have to show up for yourself every day? Yes, what about them? I am one of them! I am probably more aggressive about it than most because I believe that the only way you genuinely heal is by being assertive in your choice to always show up as your authentic self. And let me tell you this, sometimes my authentic self needs some couch time with a bar of chocolate, a glass of red, and mindless romantic comedies; yeah, I said it. Here’s the truth about that day. It comes along once every few months, and I take advantage of it because on the other 89 days before that, I go hard, and on that day, when I ask myself the question, Do I need a break today, and the answer is yes, I take it. And I ask myself, do I need this, or am I avoiding something? We all have in common that we can lie to ourselves, but we always know the truth.
Stop being so fucking hard on yourself all the time. The rest of the world will do that for you.
Until next time my friend…
Be Unbroken,
-Michael
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