How to love yourself after childhood trauma and abuse

I don't love myself...

I'm not important…

I will never be…Insert thing

Self-love…

You have probably uttered these devastating words at some point in your life. I know that I have. I have been so mean to myself over the years that it hurts my heart to think about some of the language I have used. But why?

When you think about the connection between our past experiences and where we are today, it is easy to follow the path that has led us to where we are.

As a species that entirely learns from both modeling and failure, we derive meaning from the experiences that we have had and are having.

The problem with this is that when those experiences are damaging and demeaning, we tend to hold onto them more than experiences that are uplifting, powerful, and empowering.

I used to think that I would never matter, that I would always be this fat, dumb, poor, and unlovable person (words that I don't even want to write but am to make a point).

And then I realized that we are the stories that we tell ourselves. So many of us believe what others have told us, and we do not question it. In part, not asking is a survival mechanism to avoid any potential punishment and our own fear of stepping into the other side of the limiting belief that others have placed in us.

The most important question we can ask ourselves about the stories we tell ourselves is, "is it true"? Is it true that we are not lovable, worthy, respected, or capable? I would argue that it is not valid. However, if we tell ourselves that story, then that narrative becomes true.

Why?

Because we are the stories that we tell ourselves.

I can tell you today that I would never utter such demanding words about myself because they do not serve me.

Isn't it time that you told yourself a different story?

Be Unbroken,

Michael

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