Life is like a movie and we can heal our trauma

You know, when you are watching a movie and you see the character do something stupid? And then you yell at the screen the obvious thing you can see from a mile away that they should be doing instead. The character on the screen that is so deeply entrenched in the moment that you can so clearly see the solution is actually you.

Hear me out.

Most days, I think about how convenient it is that the moments of our lives are precisely what they are supposed to be. It's not odd that as we look back on what has passed, we understand that those experiences shape us into who we are. There is no question that we are the sum total of all our experiences. 

So, why do we struggle to look forward? Why do we get so caught up in the idea that we can’t, shouldn’t, or won't have the things we desperately desire in life? Where is it that the sense of not being enough comes from? And can we change the ending of our film?

Life is like a movie. We are the actor, writer, editor, and, most importantly, the director. As farfetched as it may seem at times, we are living in a movie, and we are the stars. And like any movie set, there are days when you knock out an Oscar-worthy performance and days when you might get cabbage and old tomatoes tossed at your head. In both of those outcomes, you are living your life. 

Let's say for a moment that you adopt my belief that we are living in a movie. In this movie, you get to choose the outcome. But, let's say that the origin story of your character is one of pain, suffering, hurt, loss, trauma, abuse, neglect, and torture to the likes that make the film Se7en look like a Disney adventure. Where does that leave you? Desperate, abandoned, hopeful, vengeful, malevolent, and possibly worst of all, envious. 

In this movie called Life, if we are the ones in front of and behind the camera, wouldn't it make sense that we would want to make a film that is inspiring, uplifting, fulfilling, and hopeful? And yet, we get so dismayed by the horrible experiences of our first act that we sacrifice the rest of the story to mourn what could have been instead of taking advantage of what could be. Until we choose to write a different script, our movies often end as they begin.

People talk about the journey to becoming one's self as this deeply meaningful experience of overcoming and healing, which they are correct, but the cornerstone that they often miss is that in order to fully become the person you choose to be, you must actually become that person. 

I find myself asking myself this question almost momentarily, "What would the man that I want to be do in this situation?"

What script will you write for your movie, the blockbuster award-winning film of your life?