Creating boundaries around family is a incredibly difficult but something that can change our lives. Choosing myself over my mother was at the time the hardest thing I had EVER done in my life. Creating an unbreakable boundary between my mother and I meant freedom from chaos. I made the choice to remove her from my life at 18. When I was twelve I placed a restraining order against her. When I was twenty I blocked her on social media. When she died I didn't go to her funeral. There was no forgiveness left and no opportunity that hadn't been squandered. Those decisions were not made is jest and are likely a huge part in why I'm here today. It was a choice that was based on my most basic human need- survival. My mother was a trauma survivor herself there is no question about that but unfortunately she didn't break the cycle and instead was a part of the continuum. We all have a choice to make and she like many choose drugs and alcohol. I've often been asked if looking back over the last fifteen years if I would make the same decision and the answer is yes. We do not owe anyone our physical, mental or emotional health. Our boundaries are there to protect us and our choices should be made for the betterment of ourselves and those around us. Often the hard choices are the right choices. This isn't a post about hating the world or being sullen about not having a mother but instead a reminder that as trauma survivors we come first because it is our life on the line not theirs. #thinkunbroken

Setting boundaries around parents for CPTSD survivors.