Childhood depression and anxiety after Trauma | CPTSD Coach

I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at seven years old. Last night I was in bed thinking about depression and it struck me really hard, maybe it has been a “forest for the trees” situation, but a lightning bolt went through me, and for the first time I thought “I bet everyone who had extensive childhood trauma battles depression.”

I think it was an ah-ha moment for me because depression and anxiety has been my normative state. Since I was a child it always felt odd to be happy or joyful, those emotions often seemed foreign. 

In Think Unbroken I wrote about my experience with my therapist and the time he told me that “you can be depressed and still tend to your garden.” That sits with me every day. I don’t know another way other than continuing to move forward despite the anxiety and despite depression. I often ask myself “well, what are you going to do about it.” Because it seems like to not at least try to move forward is cheating myself out of life. 

At one point I was having five panic attacks a day and couldn’t get out of bed. That was my lowest. So let me preface what I am going to say next with that. At some point, I had to make a choice to keep going as I so often had in the past. Why? Because what the hell else am I going to do? We get trapped in this idea that once we hit a certain place that we have to stay there. I don’t agree with that but it’s so easy to get stuck in The Vortex. 

If you are battling depression and anxiety as a childhood trauma survivor let me say that I get it and I in no way aim to be dismissive but at some point, we have to ask ourselves a really hard question about what’s next. 

I invite you to listen to the latest episode of The Michael Unbroken Podcast as I take a deep dive into this. 

Click here to listen.

Until next time..

Be Unbroken,

Michael 

P.S. if you write a review for the podcast on iTunes and share a screenshot of the episode on social media and reply to this email I will give you a free copy of Think Unbroken on audiobook!